ENT Update: Okay, first the good news. I didn't need bail money. Now the even better news. James's ears are MUCH improved from the last time we were there. Now for the AMAZING and somewhat DISTURBING news. Doc believes he may have found the source of the major mass that was in James's right ear. Lemme just start at the beginning.
We arrived at the office a little before 3 and receptionist assured us that the doctor was on time with patients. Fast forward to a little after 5 o’clock and we finally moved from the waiting room to a patient room. We are sitting there in the quiet room when James’s nether regions make a noise that sounds like a cross between an angry honey badger and a volcano that is seconds from explosion. (Colitis is a blast. Pun intended) I grabbed James’s hand and we make a seriously mad dash for the bathroom. Phew, we made it. So after the business and paperwork are complete in the loo, I am thinking to myself “man, I sure feel bad for the next poor scrub who has to come in here”. It’s at that moment that I notice an air freshener dispenser up on the wall, near the door. It looks like one that you press on it and it squirts a tiny blast of air freshener into the air. So…. I reached up, with one finger and press in gently on the bottom and lo and behold, the entire freaking contraption leaps from the wall and comes crashing down on my poor child, who just so happened to be looking directly up to see what kind of ridiculous mischief Mom was getting into. It landed squarely onto his precious little upturned face. He, of course, immediately buries his face in his hands and I just know I’ve mangled his poor little nose. I start to move his hands away from his face, all the while repeating “I’m so sorry baby! I’m so so sorry! Let me see. Jamie, I’m sorry, sorry, sorry!” When I peel his hands away, I expect to see tears and a crumpled little expression. Nope. James looked up at me with the most distinctly exasperated look and said “God Mom, Seriously? Ouch-uh.” What could I do??? I started laughing and James just shook his head and started laughing too. I should say that at this point, both his chin and forehead were bleeding and his nose did look decidedly bluish, but he was laughing. Sometimes that high pain threshold is not such a terrible thing.
I picked up the offending air freshener, investigated whether it could be put back on the wall and determined that this may indeed not have been its first suicidal leap and it may in fact have jumped from the wall before and been precariously placed back on its spot, waiting for some doofus to come mess with it. (Doofus raises hand) Instead of setting up someone else’s poor child, I tossed the stupid thing in the sink, cleaned Jamie’s face with a damp paper towel, kissed all the booboos, then I put my arm around him and we headed back to the patient room. On the walk back James looked up at me and said “This is kind of a craptastic day, huh”? Yes son, it sure is. Back in the room, we all sat and waited for the doc. James had tissues stuck to his face in the two little places where the skin had broken, and looked like a teen who had just tried his first solo shave, but by the time the doc showed up, his face was better and no longer bleeding. HOWEVER…… His first words to the doctor when he entered the room was “MY MOM HIT ME IN MY FACE, SEE” and he proceeded to point out each little injury to the doctor. What could I do but laugh? I did attempt to defend myself and say that I bumped something and it fell and hit him. Doc didn’t look too sure. (I might still need the bail money after all).
The doc looked in James’s ears and escorted us to the torture room (at least that is what James’s calls it) where he has a high powered microscope and an ear vacuum. (Yes, I did say ‘Ear Vacuum’. I know. We all want one. ) After much coaxing and prodding, James got onto the table so doc could gaze into his ears with the microscope. He said James’s ears were much improved (that’s the really good news) and proceeded to vacuum his ears out. After a minute he paused, looked puzzled, leaned in to look again, paused, and looked one more time. He opened a drawer and pulled out the ‘evil looking little curved scissor things that they use to dig weird stuff out of ear canals’ (I’m sure that is the technical name) and inserted them into James’s ear. James was not so impressed with this, and let everyone in the building, and most people in the surrounding neighborhoods know about it. He pulled out a little blue plastic thing, shaped like a T. I’d ridden in this rodeo enough to recognize that wicked little blue devil. He had removed the useless PE tube James had placed in December. Then he muttered under his breath and went back in. I thought, what the heck is he trying to pull out now? There shouldn’t be anything else removable in there. At least nothing he should be taking out while James is awake. Now for the amazing and disturbing part. He pulled out another little, sort of blue, really mangled T shaped thing, that was covered in stuff you would rather I not share, but it was obvious that it wasn’t the sparkling new tube that was inserted in December. No, James’s last set of PE tubes, before December 2013 was from 2008-ish and according to his regular ENT, they disappeared from the ear drum within 3 weeks of being placed, presumably having fallen out of his ear. No, this tube was not in his ear drum where it should have been. It had embedded itself into his ear canal and gotten infected and grew polyps and granulated tissue over top of it. The steroid and antibiotic treatment had shrunken the surrounding inflammation enough that the doc was able to see something was under it and pick it out. After clearing the other ear out in the same manner and removing a tube and some other stuff you don’t want to know about, the doctor told us that he believed the tubes may be the cause of all the issues. James’s ears are still pretty inflamed and have some “stuff” going on, but the doctor believes with continued treatment and frequent vacuum treatments, the rest of the inflammation will subside and he can remove any other foreign bodies that may be present (perhaps an old tube is hiding out in the left ear as well, or a green army man, or a piece of moon-rock, or some nuclear waste or whatever) and James may not need surgery at all. Yippee!!!!!!!! So VERY long story short, thank you all so much for the prayers and good thoughts, I do believe we may have the miracle healing we were praying for. We are to continue his medicines for three more weeks and then return to Ochsner on the 7th of April for a recheck and clean out, but doc said if all has healed, he will clear him of surgery at that time. I am SO relieved and no longer bitter about the nearly 3 hour wait!!!! The poor kid needed a break. Especially after I clobbered him in the face with an air freshener!!! Oh by the way, if he talks to you in the next week or two and says “My Mom hit me in my face”, there really is NO need to call CPS. Lol.